Personality and problems galore

Your personality will make a big difference in terms of how you view life. Attitude is also important, to be sure. Early childhood influences count. Family relationships matter. Friends can shape your thinking. Lots of things can make a difference in your perspective. If, however, you find yourself naturally focusing on what is wrong with the world (and there is a lot to focus on) rather than on what is right with it…realize that this could be, in part, because of your personality.

Sanguines are often so focused on enjoying people that they hardly notice problems. Cholerics are just too busy running things and making stuff happen to care. Phlegmatics notice, but because of their easy-going nature problems are no big deal. Hakuna matata! But, some melancholics reading this and notice and notice – everything that is wrong everywhere – and your thinking is clouded by anxiety. Stress is your constant companion. Worry is your middle name. And something is going to snap someday.

If this describes your situation, it will require discipline (and in extreme cases possibly medication) to change this mindset. If you don’t, your career and your entire life could be could be dramatically affected. And my I suggest that the impact will not be positive. Not at all.

So try to remind yourself that it isn’t your job to deal with all the paralyzing problems in this world. You are just one little person; a solitary soul. And you (no offense) are very limited and can’t really do much about what is wrong in the world anyway. Global warming, global cooling, nuclear war, famine, economic chaos, poverty, drought, solar storms…might as well scratch those things right off of your agenda. Even something comparatively simple like the relational conflict you see around you; this too, for the most part, is out of your control. It isn’t your concern. Let it go, and say adios to anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong. Being responsible is usually a good thing, but not if you are constantly trying to do somebody else’s job – particularly God’s. This is to say, that although you have a part to play, make sure that you are not insisting on playing someone else’s part. That could get annoying. That could be really frustrating. Maybe it is time for Super-Dave or Super-Monica, etc. to put away the suit and park the cape for a while. Take a few days off.

Try, rather, to focus your attention and energy on things that you can do in an area that is clearly your responsibility. Do something small and concrete in your little world, in your sphere of influence, rather than barging in and trying to “fix” other people’s problems or dwelling endlessly on overwhelming global concerns. You will be glad you did. And your world may expand as you do.

You can, for example, determine to manage your own life under God. Please don’t become self-absorbed in the process. But, yes, focus your attention first and foremost on your part of the world. You can attempt to resolve your own conflicts. You can manage your finances to the best of your ability. You can give money to a worthy cause you are aware of. You can pray about the large and small problems you see around you. You can clarify your own career direction, so at least you know where you would like to go and how you would like to make a difference in this world. And there are many other things that you can do.

People sometimes talk about give and take in relationships, but here the emphasis in on push and pull. This is because it is necessary to push some problems away from you and pull other concerns in close. In the old cartoon, The Flintstones, Fred had three short and magical phrases that guided his business success: “Whose baby is that?” “What is your angle?” and “I’ll buy that.” When it comes to considering which problems you should embrace may I recommend the first phrase as your guide.

What you do not what to do, what is completely counter-productive, is to stress about all sorts of stuff you can’t do much about, while failing to take action when and where it could make a big difference.