Life purpose coaching

Picking up the phone to talk to your very own “Life Purpose Coach” may strike some of my fellow Internet travellers as quite a strange thing to do. “What kind of ‘New age voodoo’ is that?” I can hear some old-timer say.

Can’t say that I blame you. When I first hear about this type of coaching I was both intrigued and skeptical. Is this some sort of money-making racket? I wondered. But then again, wouldn’t it be nice to move ahead in my own life with more of a sense of clarity and focus and direction. What’s next…hiring a Grocery Shopping Coach, etc? I mused. But here I am…wandering in the wilderness, so to speak; might be a good idea to look into this a little more and get in touch with a real live Life Purpose Coach.

So I did. And this is what I discovered:

Shining some light

Just imagine what the world might be like if tomorrow everybody on the planet won the lottery. I know, it ain’t going to happen, so why bother talking about it? Simply to make this point: A great amount of human activity and productivity appears to be focused primarily on meeting our own personal needs.

If I had lots and lots of money in the bank, mucho dinero, would I honestly busy myself trying to meet the needs of others? Can’t say for sure, but I suspect that my country’s productivity would decline if we really didn’t need to produce and sell anything to anyone. For example, with the delay of the proposed Keystone pipeline, are Canadians more concerned about ordinary Americans who will be deprived of our oil or fellow Canadians who will be deprived of their cash?

Six things to do

It can be encouraging to make lists and then be able to check things off that you have accomplished. Here are a few career-related tasks that you might want to consider:

1. Get to know yourself. All sorts of career-counselling-type people I have bumped into online and in ordinary life make a living helping people figure out who they are. Sounds strange, but then again, maybe we can all use some help. After all, why try to decide what you want to do, or do next, for a living if you don’t even really know who you are?

2. Develop your interests and abilities. Fine, so you discover that you are, say, good with numbers and tend to enjoy administrative type work. Congratulations! But, you haven’t arrived. Now you just know where you need to invest your time, money, and energy. It is time to study, study, study and practice, practice, practice and work, work, work.

Personality potential

Trying to be someone you are not is a waste of time.

This basic observation has been bent in recent years in order to support all sorts of bizarre beliefs and behaviour. But engaging in behaviour like whacking people on the head with heavy objects, baseball bats, tire irons, rolling pins, etc. is still an odd way to go about discerning your authentic personal identify or core personality type.

A dishevelled researcher covered in ivy may wax eloquently about discovering the “head-hunting'”gene, but only until some enlightened journalist discovers another exciting use for their microphone or things take a turn for the worse back home in the kitchen. Distortions aside, it is important to try to be yourself.

Okay, so you might not be the life of the party, but you have a distinct personality nonetheless. Everyone does. Considering a new career direction, it is a good idea to maximize your particular personality potential in the work place by gaining a greater sense of self-awareness.

One way to go about doing that is to take a personality test designed by TypeFocus Careers. David Wood and his team in Victoria, B.C. offer a free online evaluation or a more detailed self-awareness report for $34.95. If you are connected to a college that has already contracted to use the Typefocus service you might be able to get the more extensive version for free.

This “test” is based on the famous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) which contains 16 different personality types. Actually there are 8 categories that can be combined in 16 different ways. If, for example, you are energized by being alone instead of being with people you would be identified by an I. Then, if it turns out that you tend to acquire new information via intuition as opposed your senses you would be given an N. If you usually make decisions by thinking in contrast to feeling a T would be tacked on. A J would be your finally letter if you like to bring your structure to the outside world (i.e. judging) rather than taking things as the come (i.e. perceiving).

This type of exercise really pays off if you can then identify job families, and eventually a specific career, that is suited to someone with your personality type

The next step

Reaching your carefully chosen career destination will often involve taking 10,000 or so small, make that very small, steps. The distance is just too great for most mere mortals to make in a single bound.

Oh, it would be nice to wake up one morning and discover that aside from winning the lottery, loosing 50 pounds, and becoming fluent in French, etc. you had also magically acquired your desired career. But down here on Earth…things don’t usually work out that way. So in order to take the next step it is necessary to identify the steps you have already taken, and hence the next appropriate step to take.

If you are feeling lost in life it is that much more important to slow down and try to determine where you are at in relationship to where you want to be. A mall style mental map with nice bright letters indicating “You are Here” could come in handy while trying to escape from your career wilderness. Similarly, picturing a GPS system tracking some poor soul spinning in circles year after year could provide the much-needed inspiration to stop. Which reminds me that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again with the same predictable and unsuccessful result.

Being busy, even if this just means aimlessly running here and there, can suggest a sense of direction and accomplishment – from a distance. Some people may lack in direction what they make up for in speed and still live out their days being constantly affirmed by casual acquaintances. And yet what good is all the activity if it just means going nowhere in particular really fast?

It may be tempting for some reading this to mistakenly assume, employing religious language, that neglecting their own responsibility is somehow synonymous with trusting in God. But this isn’t an either/or situation it is rather both/and. Confidence in God, in Christ, is critical along life’s way and so is a Christian-based emphasis on personal initiative. Those who make a point of not planning will, in all likelihood, just find that they are eventually forced to plug themselves into somebody else’s plan.

So where are you at right now? Lacking a clear vision of your destination? Unclear exactly where you are along the way? Why not take an hour or even a whole day in the not-to-distant future to sit down and carefully consider your next step.

Paradise lost

If only everything in life was easy. This longing for a less difficult life and a much improved world is wide-spread. Talk to anyone for a length of time and you will hear stories of hurt and hardship. Wealth and power does make a world of difference, but even then life is hard in one way or another – for everyone.

This world is just not the way it should be; paradise is but a memory. And as you work towards a more suitable career, it is important to keep this simple, basic reality in mind. For an unrealistically positive view of life is just as damaging as a chronically negative one. Neither will prepare you to live in the world that actually exists.

A few words of caution:

First of all, don’t expect that your life dreams and career aspiration will necessarily just fall into place. It is much better to anticipate struggles, difficulties, setbacks, conflict, and hard work than to expect an easy road. Sure, take one day at a time; but also be prepared for what you may have to face each day.

Second, don’t expect God to always directly intervene in this broken world to make your life easier. It is a sensitive thing to even mention, but asking God not to let any of your loved ones ever die is a waste of time. They will and so will you. That is life. God may on occasion choose to answer our large requests…but He doesn’t have to. You could be unfairly fired and find yourself without a job for a long period of time. Don’t blame God. That’s life.

Third, try to respect God’s sovereignty and your own. Make a point of trying to manage your life under God. This is a phrase I have used before in order communicate the importance of taking appropriate responsibility for our own lives. We want to have it both ways sometimes. We want to have the freedom and power to do whatever we want and, at the same time, to be protected from the consequences of our poor decisions.

Being satisfied with this world as it is would be a mistake. And yet, sooner or later we all have to learn how to live in it.

A walk in the woods

One sure thing not to do, as you seek to establish your own identity and identify a career that is a fit with who you are, is to equate your future career with your authentic self. A career is really best understood as just a partial and temporary expression of who you are; it doesn’t define who you are, or at least it shouldn’t.

“How exciting, our long-awaited taxi driver has finally come!” Not likely the first words to come out of the mouths of your parents as they caught a glance of your smiling face in the maternity ward.

But if a career does not determine who you are as a person, not to mention your dignity or worth, what does? Something to think about.

One way to at least begin to discern your authentic identity is to get in the habit of going on long walks in the woods – all alone. Alone? Yes, alone. You will, of course, need encouraging relationships, language skills, a supportive community, formal education, new experiences, etc. to help you gain a sense of who you are. But you will also need solitude and silence and a degree of danger.

A regular dose of S & S & D has a way of filtering the voices around you and alerting you to other realities.

Please note, that I am not encouraging anyone to intentionally place themselves in a potentially life threatening situation. If you are out in the woods and coming across a cliff decide to merrily leap from the edge armed only with your Wal-Mart umbrella…don’t blame me for the consequences. If there are bears in your neighbourhood, be sure to bring a gun.

It is just that all sorts of voices are coming in your direction, voices on the outside and voices on the inside, voices that are attempting to define you in a way that fits with an agenda. And these voices need to be turned off from time to time or at least turned down if you hope to eventually view yourself from a more authentic perspective.

Isolating yourself in such a way that your senses are on high alert can be a step in the right direction.

Clarity and confusion

As you pursue your life purpose, do not be alarmed if from time to time you feel that doing so is completely pointless. Being overwhelmed with a sense of the futility of life – that is, the apparent absurdity of what everyone who has ever lived has done, thought, or said – is actually a positive experience. For this temporary despair will allow you to break out of the mainstream secular bubble, where people pretend that meaning can be perceived without God’s perspective, and finally breathe some fresh air.

Life is meaningless from a merely human perspective and pretending otherwise is, well…just pretending. Living as if God is a million miles away from reality and yet carrying on as if this blog matters or what you plan on doing later in the day makes a bit of difference is bizarre.

Clarifying your career direction, among other things, begins with a recognition that God is the only one who really knows the full point and the purpose of your life and mine. Details will always be lacking; some confusion is to be expected. But having confidence or faith in God will empower you as you seek to gain at least a glimpse of God’s larger purpose for your life.

Armed with a sense of personal direction, you will then be able to manage your own life under God. Rather than letting other people run your life, or wandering blindly trying this and that, you will be able to make decisions more easily and move ahead. No, you will not have all the information you want, but you may find that you do have some of the core and critical information you need. If someone suggests that you really ought consider devoting the next 15 years of your life to becoming a professional polka dancer, you can refer to your mission statement and make an informed decision.

This isn’t to say that your life will now be neat and tidy or safe and secure. But now, instead of dealing day by day with colossal career confusion you can focus your energy on dealing with many other challenges that you are sure to face in your life.

Information overload

Clarifying your career direction will require taking the time to find the strategic information that you need to make decisions and move ahead. Being unable to choose which direction to take often indicates that, while you may have all sorts of information bouncing around in your brain, you do not have the specific information you need right now.

So, if you feel stuck, turn off your TV/Internet/cell phone and sit down with one sheet of paper before you. Write down what you really need to know on the left hand side and how you might go about acquiring that information in a timely fashion on the right. You might be surprised how this simple exercise will focus your attention and your energy.

If you wanted to, say, plant a flower garden you would need to know what type of flowers would do well where your flower garden is going to be. It may be interesting but it really won’t help much to read up on flourishing flower gardens in Siberia – unless of course that is where you live. Once you have determined what you need to know you can figure out how to find what you need. Watching the evening news for the next 10 years might eventually provide you with that information and so would one phone call to the local flower shop.

If you wanted to learn how to provide a specific, marketable, tangible service that is in demand, like nursing care, you could then easily determine the research that is required. If you really do not have any idea what you want to do your situation will be more difficult, but you can still consider how you might get to know yourself and more accurately discern your authentic desires.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Most of the information that drifts in your direction will be useless when it comes to clarifying and acquiring a career. Determine what you need to know and only then get back on the Internet and the phone in order to find it.

Green on the inside

Water. It falls from the sky and springs up from the earth. It flows from the hills to the plains. It drains into oceans that cover most of the earth, and it is essential for life.

But what does water, clean water, have to do with the development of your career?

For many years 15,000 people regularly dumped their raw sewage into this stream, which drained into a large lake, and eventually made its way to Hudson’s Bay. It was a sad period in world history for the frogs and the fish and the people and the polar bears along the way. Now, however, the frogs and the fish have found a friend in the form of a very costly sewage treatment plant.

Nobody wants somebody else’s garbage and waste in their back yard. Although the reaction in the environmental movement is sometimes extreme, the “green, green, lima beans” as George Bush used to call them have a point. The odd inconsistency is that while many people are passionately green on the outside some appear to be apathetic about “polluting” their own souls.

May I suggest that employers would much likely prefer if you ran your character flaws, emotional issues, and selfish tendencies, etc. through a sewage treatment plant of sorts before coming to work for them. Ask someone you know and trust this simple question: “What can you see in me that you would rather not see?”

People down stream, as it were, will be really glad you did.

Decision time

Here is an obvious thought that may strike you like a bolt of lightning or perhaps a heavy bell: Determining a new career direction will involve making a definite choice.

It took years of diligent study and oblivious living to discover this little gem.

The sober truth is that soaking up the full measure of frustration from your present life situation will get you no where. Yes, this means that developing your evening whining abilities to Olympic standards will accomplish nothing. Nadda. And endlessly exploring your authentic identity, as important as that may be, will result in staying stuck. As well, collecting an impressive list of wonderful careers you just might look into in the next decade or so is a waste of time.

One fine day, or “unfine” day as the case may be, you will have to throw yourself out of bed in the morning, stand up tall, and loudly declare to the world or at least a few crickets in the corner: “Today I will make my grand and glorious career decision – so help me God!” And you will need God’s help, along with the help of many other people, for such a large decision is not easy to make.

As I read these words once again, I feel in a way that I am one to talk. But maybe, just maybe, you will be able to benefit from some of my embarrassing mistakes. Looking back, some of my major career decisions were much too random and not at all well thought out. A decision was make when it needed to be made, in part, because there was no other choice but to decide to do something. This is to say, that while making a firm and timely decision is important, that it is not enough. Choosing wisely and sooner than later – that is the ideal combination.

Much of the content on this blog is devoted to helping you, in some small way, to make a wise decision and pursue a career and a life that is a fit with who are. This modest resource isn’t, however, intended to consume your attention any longer than it takes you launch you in an exciting career direction. “You’re going the wrong way!” John Candy called out in the film Planes, Trains, and Automobiles as he drove madly into traffic on the freeway. While he was actually going the wrong way, nobody could fault him for failing to make a clear and a firm decision.

Second-guessing yourself is of course a good idea when facing the prospect of a head-on collision, but a carefully considered career choice is something altogether different. Unless there is a dramatic change in your life situation, you need to stick to your plan and stay the course. Things take time. Career goals are not often accomplished overnight. Sure, some fine-tuning will be required. But planning on becoming a doctor one day and a lawyer the next will most likely mean that you will be working at McDonald’s for the rest of your life.

Now I happen to enjoy McDonald’s restaurants and usually appreciate very much the friendly service I receive there. But is that where you want to work? I seriously doubt if the person who served me today really wanted to be there.